I am posting some lyrics, from my fav Peter Murphy song!!

This is I'll Fall With Your Knife


To the crowd
To the world
You were so dry
And with the token bird I made
Send it to fly right to your side
With the broken wing you sailed
Oh like winter in July
A barren river wide
I'll pray for the flood
To wash on you
It's here I'll be with you

Well if the birds can reach the sky
To this land I'll be with you
'Til the sun bursts from your side
With my hands I reach to you
When you think your chance is passing by
When you blow your moon away
I'll bleed like the reed
Fall with your knife
It's here I'll be with you

I'll fall

This is Rooks and my song, and I cannot think of anything but him when I hear it. It's on Peter Murphy's Wild Birds cd *if you don't own it, buy it*

Tang

I am off, to Chico, to go and party!!! Somethings are cool about my old hometown, one of those things is Halloween!

I will scan some pics, of me, Rooks, and the beehive!

Tang

Okay, so I did it, I shut my mouth, stopped talking about it and I did it. I fired off an e-mail to Bill, and what's going to happen? Absolutely nothing. That's okay though, I have given up on Bill's ability to say something similar in return, like, "I am sorry I cheated on you" or even, "I am sorry about the way things went." See this is what is wrong with the world. When we no longer want to writhe and twist on the knife we created, there is simply no one who wants to let us off.

This is what I find interesting about breaking up, when there is no one left to go home to in your life, you feel kinda hollow, at first. Then the feeling of "I can date anyone I want" sets in. This is where most people do something stupid, and Bill got his new and current girlfriend, a week after I had been sleeping in his bed. This is where I could simply not find someone to settle down with, so maintained good friendships with the beaus I was considering, ie Rooks...and the Venezuelan man...Then you get comfortable again. This is where I started dating Rooks, and Bill's relationship began to deteriorate.

So how are people supposed to handle being dumped? Is it possible to just smile and walk away? I don't think so! It has to be gut wrenching, the divying up of one's stuff is truly symbolic to what has just happened, you are not going to see this person again for a long long while. What do yo do if you don't get your stuff back? You call, try to act nonchalant, and ask for it back. When you get off the phone, you feel so upset you sit down, cry a little, and call someone. If you're stupid like me, you tell that person how you feel, even though you don't know if that's how you feel anymore, but you don't want to change it. Even if it was wrong to begin with. Then, in the case of Bill, that person can't handle what you have to say. They get angry, you get angry, viola, grudges are now formed.

So maybe I should send Bill a link. Maybe he will know what I am trying to say...probably not. The chances of this angering Bill are highly probable. Bill doesn't seem to get the concept of closure. I just want to take the knife out of my side for once and for all. Rooks deserves it.

Tang